Sometimes, I Hate Running

Week number 3 down!
It's been a very hectic week, between work and running.
On Tuesday night, a few of the members of 'Team Hector' met down at the Smithsonian Metro Stop to do our 4 mile Hill run together. We ran up and around the Capital. Can't say it wasn't a picturesque run. But I will say it was a bitch. Pardon my language. Like I said, it was 4 miles, uphill, and against the wind. I pretty much hated my decision to run 26.2 miles from that day forward lol!
My week got hectic from there, as I had to fly to Atlanta, Georgia for work. Do not ask me how Atlanta was. I saw only the inside of my hotel-going from meeting to meeting. At first I was very jealous of the girls there, with their southern accents. They sounded absolutely adorable and made me feel like a man. By Friday, however, when I was leaving, I was 150% happy that I was not surrounded by it anymore. Too happy and polite too much! Though I won't like, I think the word 'ya'll' has become a staple to my speech. I did run while I was in Atlanta, on the treadmill in the gym hotel. Once again, doesn't matter if I'm in DC or Atlanta, a treadmill is a treadmill and it is TORTURE!
Due to the weather predictions for Friday and Saturday, the Team In Training run was cancelled, with an option to run on Sunday with the Team. I got home Friday afternoon and expected to just go to sleep for the night due to exhaustion. But, because I have fun friends, Kerry and I decided that we should have our last horrah night and go out.
Needless to say, it is a good thing no physical activity was required on Saturday.
So today, beautiful weather conditions. Blue sky, sun and 50 degree temperatures. But every fiber in my body did not want to run. Sometimes running feels like a job, and today was such a time. There was a fleeting moment while I was out there, running, by myself, that I was happy to be out there, but for the most part, I was not having it. I definitely had one of those days when I couldn't help but think, what did I get myself into? I hate running!
I think it's a natural thought. I also think that I've been in a bit of a funk, which is usually cured by a good run, but not today. Perhaps I missed running with the team, I don't know, I just know that my enthusiasm needs to return soon.

While I was in Atlanta, I got to take a tour of the American Cancer Society's Hope Lodge. I had been to our Hope Lodge in Baltimore and it is a very special place to visit. I knew it, but even the CEO of the South Atlantic Division of the American Cancer Society told us that anytime we are feeling unsure or blah about our job, take a trip to the Hope Lodge and it will give you a renewed sense of fulfillment. The American Cancer Society has 25 Hope Lodges across the country that serve as homes away from homes for cancer patients receiving treatment more than 3 days a week at a facility at least an hour away from their home. There are no further guidelines for patients to meet, everyone is welcome and the stay is completely free. During the tour of the Atlanta Hope Lodge, we spoke with and got to hear patients and their caregivers talk about what brought them to the Hope Lodge and what it means to them. It is beyond humbling and amazing to hear someone break down infront of you telling you that you are an angel for what you do, and that without the work that everyone in the Society does-from the admin staff on up, people such as themselves would not have any chance of receiving treatment. My work is tough and it's defeating some days and it's long and it requires a lot, but its those moments that I have to remind myself of. Kind of like my running. I tried so hard today when I felt myself not wanting to run, to think of the young man I wrote about in my emails out to everyone last week. I concentrated on the picture of the women Theresa I spoke with at the Hope Lodge in Atlanta who was receiving her second bout of treatment for Leukemia. I thought of all of them and I just kept running.

Maybe I lack a sense of self control, or maybe my love of running is just not there yet, but I don't know how people train for a marathon without some form of a purpose. It is tough to not want to go out there and put in your miles. It is mentally exhausting to tell yourself that this thing that seems so impossible at times is possible. Running can be one of the most humbling things that you can do. You are against yourself. You have to listen to your body, and sometimes your body is telling you something you don't want to hear. This is tough for those people, such as myself, that are called perfectionists, competitors. I have to forgo my urge to sprint with the person that just passed me and realize that my body can't do that. I have to realize that as long as I'm moving forward, that I am okay. It's these moments of weakness that I think of everyone that I represent and run for with Team In Training. I think of everyone in my life, cancer patient or not, that has suffered and gone their own personal miles. I think of myself and how far I've come in my life, the miles that I have already put in in my personal life. Sometimes these thoughts help immediately, and sometimes it is still a struggle. But all the miles that I've come in my personal life, all the miles that people close to me and those that I've met through my work, strangers on the street, I know that I can do it.
I think today was just one of those days that the 6 miles wasn't just me placing one foot infront of the other on the road, it was more a mental struggle to know that I can keep forging forward. I like to thank all those wonderful angels in my life that give me the strength to do just that!